HUMOR

A salesman drove into a small town where a circus was in progress.

A sign read: 'Don't Miss “Phillip” The Amazing Scotsman'.

The salesman

Bought a ticket and sat down.

There, on centre stage, was a table with three walnuts on it.

Standing next to it was an old Scotsman.

Suddenly the old man lifted his kilt, whipped out a huge willy and smashed all three walnuts with three mighty swings!

The crowd erupted in applause as the elderly Scot was carried off on the shoulders of the crowd.

Ten years later the salesman visited the same little town and saw a faded sign for the same circus and the same sign 'Don't Miss “Phillip” The Amazing Scotsman'.

He couldn't believe the old guy was still alive, much less still doing his act!

He bought a ticket. Again, the centre ring was illuminated.

This time, however, instead of walnuts, three coconuts were placed on the table.

The Scotsman stood before them, then suddenly lifted his kilt and shattered the coconuts with three swings of his amazing member.

The crowd went wild!

Flabbergasted, the salesman requested a meeting with him after the show.

'You're incredible!' he told the Scotsman. 'But I have to know

Something. You're older now, why switch from walnuts to coconuts?'

'Well laddie,' said the Scot, 'Ma eyes are nae whit they used tae be.'

Two long times male friends were avid golfers. One morning on the course waiting to tee-off, they were behind two women in the middle of the fairway who seemed to be taking a long time to get out of their way. One said "I'll walk down and ask if we can play through." He had not gone far when he came back and said "YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS. ONE IS MY WIFE AND THE OTHER IS MY GIRLFRIEND"!

His friend says "I have to see this"
He quickly cam back and said "YOU WON"T BELIEVE THIS , ONE IS MY WIFE AND THE OTHER IS MY GIRLFRIEND"

Awww......Wuzfuz!