Questions to ponder

I enjoy reading your 'ponderings' and get
a smile from many of them.

That is reward enough for any poster, thank you!

However one should never stand on one's dignity.....there is nothing in the world so slippery.
So moving on I ask in a pondering fashion, when one loses one's teeth does life suck?
A puzzlement that haunts me is if smoking can kill how come it cures kippers?
Have you noticed recently that the rail fares have gone up.....AGAIN...there is always one train worth catching.... the gravy train.
An optimist (that's me) is like a kettle, up to its neck in hot water and still whistling.
I've concluded (and I wouldn't want you to mention this) a problem shared is a gift to a gossip.
Women can drive you to distraction, but you have to walk back!
They say it can be a great life if you don't weaken, but I've found it can be an even better one if you do!

Ooooh! I've come over all weak......

I love to go a pondering down by the railway track, and after I've done my pondering, I meet myself....coming back!

Is poetic justice a hedgehog hibernating on an acupuncturist's armchair.....(Get my point?)
Is happiness a flea at Crufts?
The old Chinese proverb says, 'Many hands make light work' (but only if one of them is an electrician)
This will alienate a few..... Good women are like aliens, you hear a lot about them, but you never actually see one!
Inflation is when your nest egg won't even make an omelette.
Do transvestites like to eat, drink and be Mary?
I was told, 'Today is the first day of the rest of your life.' What on earth was yesterday?
A toast, a toast, ' May your troubles be like an old man's teeth, few and far between!'
A good tip on how to keep your kitchen clean...... "Dine out!"
Golf and sex are about the only two things I enjoy without being good at them.
You see it is not the pace of life that concerns me, its the sudden stop at the end!
The trouble with life is that you are half way through it before you realise it is a 'do it yourself' thing!
Married men should forget their mistakes, there is no use in two people remembering the same thing.

I'm in hot water again....... whilst I was pondering my wife asked "When I'm called to that big Bridge tournement in the sky, will you miss me?" An involuntary retort sprang to my lips and before I could repress it I said, "How can I miss you if you won't go away!"
One of my greatest fears is the act of stopping to think...... I might forget to start again.
Not all men are fools, some are batchelors.
Its not fair really, I spent my whole youth trying to obtain wealth, and now my wife spends my whole wealth trying to obtain youth!
The most labour saving device ever is a husband with money!
I don't mind getting into hot water from time to time it keeps me clean.
A favourite ponder of mine is, 'If at first you DO succeed, don't look astonished, flaunt it!'
A question, 'If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?'
Are you aware that medical insurance allows more people to be ill at ease?
Here is a tip, 'Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
One should always get the facts first........ you can distort them later.
We are all born free.......... and taxed to death.......and beyond!

Aye as they say Time, marches on, and here we are looking at the beginning of a brand new year. Now ( confess it) we are, or have pondered just what this year will bring for us as individuals. We are pondering what this year will bring in the way of health, happiness, prosperity, peace. If you have never 'pondered' before you are certainly thinking about 'pondering' now!
So let us not be too heavy in our pondering, let us keep it light and cheerful......

Enjoy yourself before Father Time tarmacs over your sex drive.
Left over Christmas fare.... I did not fight my way to the top of the food chain to become a vegetarian...where's the turkey soup, the turkey curry, turkey 'burghers?
Hmm, is it easier to pass the buck, or carry the can?
I've concluded that everyone stops smoking...... eventually
I've also concluded that advice is the only free thing that one can give away, that nobody wants!
One should practice moderation in all things .......especially moderation.
An uplifting thought, when the soles of your shoes are worn out, you'll soon be back on your feet again!
There will be sadness and celebration this year.... Weddings to be arranged, but funerals are undertaken.
To offset the latter, learn the secret of long life...... keep breathing!
Bear in mind Undertakers love overtakers!
The best thing to be buried in is a book!
I heard that Mary had a little lamb, has genetic engineering gone too far?
A puzzlement.....if a nun bought a washing machine would it be a Sistermatic?
Think on these things and smile ah sed smile!

Some of those are great.